Labour's Financial IEDs

The £2b cuts announced by Danny Alexander last week were cuts in relation to what can best be described as budget-improvised-explosive-devices strategically placed at the roadside in the final months of an outgoing Labour government realising that they couldn't (and didn't want to anyway) win the election. The idea, which incidentally has Alastair Campbell's unmistakable fingerprints all over it, was that these spending pledges would obviously be abandoned by the incoming government, giving David Miliband the opportunity to jump up and down squealing "Gratuitous Economic Vandalism!"

Let's examine the nature of the pledges in question and you'll see what I mean;

1. £25 million visitor centre at Stonehenge - cutting this is designed to outrage the whole of middle England, the natural LibDem heartland, academia and anyone with a soft spot for 'The Nation's Heritage'.

2. Jobs guarantee for young people - a cut here would guarantee that no one could come up smelling of roses - cue the outraged D Miliband. The fact that this scheme was as yet unfunded? A mere inconvenience.

3. Improvements to a hospital in Teesside - not a hospital!? I hear you cry. Don't touch our hospitals!! I hear the entire electorate snarl. Guaranteed to whip up deep emotions.

4. Walking routes promised by the Health Department - Eh? Ok, I guess it might upset the Ramblers Association but, I have to admit that the significance of this one is lost on me. Over to you Alastair...

5. An £80 million loan to Sheffield Forgemasters - the piece de resistance, coup de gras, whatever French handle you care to embellish it with, this one's nothing short of a stroke of genius. Flash Bang Wallop right in the heart of Cleggland! Cue general sniggering at Nick's hand wringing, oh and the outraged D Miliband again: "Gratuitous Economic Vandalism!"

It has been positively embarrassing (but nonetheless gratifying) to see every single Labour pundit wheeled out during the week, quoting from the same script, almost verbatim, when pronouncing on these cuts, invariably majoring on Sheffield Forgemasters.

The most insulting thing of all is just how clumsily predictable all these devices are, or perhaps we are just getting better at detecting the Labour Spin Machine.